Summer

Wow, what a hiatus. I’ve taken another mental health month, this time following a hectic family visit, and I am beginning to feel much better now, thank you. Your sympathetic messages have been a sustaining force and the only reason, I have to admit, that I’m sitting here at the computer now. It’s one in the morning, I’ve been cutting fabric and thinking about the friends I’d like to keep, the ones like you whom I’ve met through this blog, who remind me that it’s okay. Just keep writing. Keep taking photos. Don’t say you’re forgetful. Move forward.
Thank you.

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So here we are. I’m sure you wanted more details, but here we ARE:
and watch out!
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Summer is here, so very here. Each afternoon the hot winds off the valley blow through the garden on the way to Santa Cruz or wherever they go. Judging by the weary droop of the Lady’s Mantle, the Huecheras, the zucchini—I’d say an inch or two more compost would buffer tender roots from heatstroke. But the deer lop it all off and solve the problem instantly. Genius! Here’s Chas, clearly offended by the marauding:

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The deer. The wait until the tomatoes have sprung three tall feet and sprouted yellow flowers along the vine like christmas lights. Then they mow down the vines and pluck the hard green tomatoes, dropping them to the ground to rot at the bitemarks:

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But the evening, it’s so summery. In the city, I have to wear fleece to dinner. In my backyard, however, I wear a tank top and feel nothing as the evening blues. The quail, scampering down along the fenceline, shepherd a new clutch of chicks. There must be twenty! I can’t see details without my glasses, but my eyes register fleeting puffs of down, left, right, then left, and the parents zig left then right, alerting the other of the dog by my side. Seti, mouthwatering, tenses and tracks their path.

When I water the zuchinni, it sounds like the heavy rain that I haven’t heard in months. A few weeks ago, the water pattered the mulch and the seedlings bowed under strain. Today, tall and turgid, the large uneaten leaves bat back at the downpour, an audible splattering, a hollow summer sound that I miss from Texas (and everywhere else I’ve lived in summers past, for that matter). I miss the moody days, shrouded in gray clouds, rain that evaporated off hot concrete, lightening that awoke a summer midnight. Puddles. Rainbows. Clouds.

Oh, screw it. Sunny days and starry nights rock!

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Found!

We are going camping this weekend, our first camping trip since we became parents. Although the campground is beautiful and luxurious and coastal, we are fortunate in that it is an hour away from home, forty miles as the crow flies from our house westward towards the Pacific.

I spent the entire morning searching for my sleeping bag. In the end, where would I find it? In the garage, in a tall box with the words written on the side in a black Marks-A-Lot:

WELDING JACKET
+
WEDDING DRESS

Of course!

Have a wonderful weekend, everybody. And may your clutter be so happily married!

For Chas, who is now two and a half

A part of me wants to hide from you when I am working, vanity urging me to fruit, but the better parts of me always concede with a smile. You put down the skateboard, run to me in your helmet, wanting to draw too. And there you have it. I like your style, kid. Like the skatepark you told me you were working on here. Full of motion and joy. Hang onto that expressiveness.

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I can’t stand Pokemon. I don’t understand Pokemon. And I don’t know when Ford turned on the tv one day and turned himself on to Pokemon. But it happened quite naturally. And it happened just as naturally for you. Today I asked, flat out,
Chas, why do you like Pokemon?
You grinned sideways and replied,
Because they have nummies.
And nummies, being our slang for nipples, are an enduring delight. In fact, you wants some of your own. See?

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One of the best things about having you around all the time is that you have a lot of energy and zeal, which rubs off on me. I try to remember being such an effervescent wellspring but I can’t. I can only remember as far back as big wheels and stubbed toes. Was I ever this rowdy? I don’t know. Probably not.

What’s amazing is that, at the other end of the spectrum, you are able to focus for such long periods of time now on a drawing, or at play, or on a bug. Today the dry carapace of a ladybug fell to the ground when I opened your car door. Last week, you found this very ladybug on the beach and showed it to me, squealing in the strange context of your discovery, cradling it in your wonder. When I looked back at you, sleeping on the car ride home from Half Moon Bay, I noticed the ladybug between your fingers. You must have held onto it for two hours.
Was it intense focus, or was it the very toddler need to fill an empty hand? You do both equally well. I’m just glad I wasn’t that ladybug, even though I’d have been flattered.

xoxo
*mom

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